


kiss and tell

by 70sBabe



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, List Fic, Rory's pov, angst angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-11 23:15:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18434141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/70sBabe/pseuds/70sBabe
Summary: good girls don't kiss and tell (so maybe she's not such a good girl after all)





	kiss and tell

i. Dean

Dean kisses gently. Softly. Like too much pressure will cause her to crack and shatter. Lips closed, always closed, because apparently everything he knows about dating was gleaned from black and white sitcoms where the husband and wife sleep in separate twin-size beds.

He likes to put his hands on her face when he kisses her, cradling it in his hands like a treasure he’s found, and maybe it is, because Rory never saw herself as an object of affection until he appeared. Sometimes she suspects that Dean knows that, knows that he’s the boy who discovered all the diamonds she has to offer. He never says anything to that effect, but something in his eyes makes her wonder.

His hands always stay above her waist. He never even tries to cop a feel, as her mom might say, but Rory likes that. She can’t imagine Dean’s hands anywhere but looped around her waist or touching her cheeks. She likes that he expects nothing from her in _that_ way. Or in any way, really.

Dean kisses neutrally, but Rory would never fault him for that because she knows she does the same thing. There’s no give and take, no exchange of sparks and fireworks. Just a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less. True neutral.

 

ii. Jess

Jess kisses like it’s the last time. Like the world is ending, like the sky is falling, like he’ll never see her again. She likes it, but it scares her, too, because why is he always saying goodbye?

His hands roam all over her: cupping her face, sliding down her neck and shoulders, gripping her waist and pulling her closer, always closer. He hates distance, funnily enough, because whenever Rory wants to talk, _really_ talk, he goes a million miles away in 2 seconds flat.

Jess looks at her differently than Dean. Dean looked at her like a prize he deserved to win. Jess looks at her like she’s a miracle that fell from the sky, right into his lap. Her mom says that Jess doesn’t appreciate her, doesn’t treat her right, but she never saw that look in Dean’s eyes, the one that said “you are beautiful because I noticed you, you are wonderful because I tell you that you are, you are you because you belong to me.” Rory saw it, though. She hated it. But Jess….the look in his eyes says “you are smart, you are kind, you are beautiful, you are _you_ , and thank you for letting me have just the tiniest bit of you.”

She knows Jess wants more from her and she wants to give it to him, but God, she’s scared. She’s scared to belong to someone the way she belonged to Dean, the way she was tethered to Dean. She’s scared to give Jess more than a few pieces because he has always had one foot out the door and Rory refuses to say goodbye to someone she loves.

Jess kisses like he’s giving her every part of him and taking the few pieces of her that he can get. Give and take. Even. Kisses that leave her feeling full because everything he takes from her, he gives back from his own supply. Equilibrium.

 

iii. Logan

Logan kisses hungrily. Like he needs this, needs it more than he can put into words so instead he puts it into his mouth and lips and tongue, he _needs_ this, God, he _needs_ it.

He likes to tangle his hands in her hair, something Dean and Jess never really did, unless it was on accident. Logan loves to grab handfuls of her hair, to braid his fingers into it, to tug lightly when he wants her to do something again or more or harder or faster.

He grabs her face; doesn’t cup or cradle like boys past, but grabs. Everything he has ever wanted has been his for the taking, so he doesn’t understand tenderness, doesn’t realize that just because you hold on tightly doesn’t make it yours.

Rory belongs to Logan and, though she swore she’d never belong to anyone but herself, she likes it. She likes that Logan has only ever known this Rory, college Rory, up-for-a-good-time Rory. Not perfect, Stars Hollow, one-step-away-from-an-angel Rory. So she lets him own her in a way that Dean never did and Jess never wanted.

Logan kisses like he’s taking every bit of her heart and soul. He doesn’t give anything in return and Rory is okay with that. She likes feeling needed, even if that means she gives and gives until nothing is left. A depletion of natural resources.

Because this is love. Love is giving all of yourself and expecting nothing in return. Love is accepting sloppy kisses and hands that hold too hard instead of gentle kisses and fingers that trace her skin lightly.

Love is giving up equilibrium for someone else’s hunger. Love is choosing easy over hard. Love is giving more than you will ever get.

At least, that’s what Rory tells herself.


End file.
